Shopping for Peace: How to Stop Feeling Shitty After a Haul
Photo Credits: Jingxi Lau
Coming down from that high is like face planting the concrete.
You're disgusted with how much you've consumed.
And you're faced with the truth.
This loop you're stuck on will never make you happy and you know you have to get off.
Which is much like jumping out of a moving car with your body intact.
You already know you're shopping to fill the emptiness within yourself.
Here's some practical ways to determine if a purchase will bring true happiness — or if it's a waste of time and money.
Much like a drug habit, those emotions are fleeting once you head home and collapse on the bed.
You may see something's potential, but it's possibly overblown.
Or maybe you just need to fill some empty space.
I highly recommend unpacking this with a therapist if you see yourself struggling to increase savings due to a shopping habit.
It's no different from falling in love with someone because of what you imagine could happen.
Only act on what would happen regardless.
There is a condition called Compulsive Buying Disorder (CBD).
It is severely underdiagnosed in Americans. It is a behavioral addiction similar to gambling.
The brain pattern specifically is similar to other behavioral addictions — it involves:
Reduced prefrontal control — less ability to pause and evaluate.
Overactive reward circuitry — the dopamine hit comes from the anticipation of buying, not even the purchase itself, which is why the high fades fast after checkout.
Negative reinforcement loop — shopping is used to relieve anxiety or emotional discomfort, which reinforces the behavior.
5–6% of the general population is estimated to have compulsive buying disorder — that's roughly 1 in 18 people.
Up to 18% of college students show compulsive buying behaviors in some studies.
74% of cases are women, typically aged 18–30.
It has increased significantly with e-commerce: one-click buying and frictionless payment removes the last natural pause before purchasing.
It commonly co-occurs with depression, anxiety, OCD, and eating disorders — pointing to the same underlying pattern of using behavior to regulate emotion.
Seven ways to stop feeling shitty after going shopping.
Determine what your goals are.
If you know you are preparing to finance something like a home or a planned purchase, would this purchase take that away from you? Imagine other uses for the money.
Don't just do surface-level research into a product.
Companies are automatically out there trying to catch yo slipping. Hoping you'll buy their inferior product at a 3x mark up. Go to Trustpilot. Read reviews on Reddit. Companies cannot hide there. I have noticed over the years that I cannot solely rely on the Better Business Bureau. Some companies slip through the cracks. For example I found a company called Avaria Jewelry. I did some light research, but clearly not enough and I lost almost $100.
Literally sleep on it.
It will be there tomorrow. Having a full night's sleep on a potential buy is the best way to reset your brain. When you're out shopping, your prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for long-term thinking and impulse control — is running in the background. The stimulation of the environment, the lights, the music, the crowd, it all hands the wheel over to your emotional brain. You're reacting, not deciding. If you simply leave the item there, go home and hit the hay, and then wake up in the morning — is it worth heading back out there to buy it? Maybe you'll wake up and not feel a thing for that item you almost purchased.
Ask yourself the hard questions.
Does it make a piece of my life easier? Does it help me do things faster? How does it tie into my daily life? Is it novelty? Or is it ease? And be serious. Your financial health is at stake so don't fool yourself into thinking everything is needed.
When adding this to your space, think about the bigger picture.
Does it add to the clutter? If so, can you part with something else? When the item is in its place at your home, how does it make you feel? If it will simply add to the chaos, maybe look into getting rid of some extra items by selling or donating to make room for the new.
Check what you're actually feeling in the store.
How do you feel when looking at the item in the store or online? If it is happiness, maybe check in to make sure it's not dopamine. You should not feel a high while shopping. You should be methodical — as if the only reason for going was to buy something you have planned to buy for a week.
Do not allow the item to become something bigger.
As a woman I know what it's like to feel like you don't quite measure up — so you look at the shoes, the clothes, the car, and whatever else you believe will transform you into someone else. But it never works. You'll be as you are today once you come down from the high.
This is not a foolproof way, but the key is to take some of these actions before buying anything. Do it enough so it's like working out a muscle.
Once you do start saving a little cash, do not let up. It will be tempting because you'll perceive even more breathing room in your account. That is why the goal is to not simply reel in your shopping — but to define what your goals are.
You want $20K in an emergency savings account eventually?
Or a downpayment for a house?
Maybe you want to plan a nice vacation to Puerto Rico with your family?
Those memories will last much longer than a haul of tops from Shein.
